"Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving dinner"

Regina Ford is a columnist (also the wife of John Ford, the goldsmith who makes the pieces of jewelery that I get for MaryAnne from time to time) who writes for our local paper, The Green Valley News & Sun. Her column, last Sunday, led off with the following, which MaryAnne and I found priceless.

"A retiree in Green Valley calls his son in New York and says, 'I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Fifty-two years of misery is enough.'
'Pop, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the elderly man says. 'We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you can call your sister in Chicago and tell her.'
And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting a divorce,' she shouts. 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls Green Valley immediately, and screams at the father, 'You are not etting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling mu brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, Do you hear me?' And she hangs up.
The elderly man hangs up his phone, smiles, and turns to his wife. 'They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.' "